January 31 I’m a Pear


“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” Amy Bloom

I am a Pear. That is, I have a pear-shaped body. Pear’s are the “mullet” of the body shape world: business in the front, party in the back. I’m not very chesty and I have a big booty. Own it, girlfriend.

Today I researched which styles of clothing accentuate what I’m working with. I usually choose clothing emotionally. I have an emotional response to furry things: I LOVE them! I like texture, color, swing, cling and retro-drama. I made it my business to understand what looks good on my body type today: how to play up assets, downplay areas that need work. This was the first time I took an intellectual, strategically planned approach to fashion. This is in preparation for my long awaited full-body, full-life, make-over.

This is what I learned: pear-shaped is the most common body shape for women. I read a lot of internet garbage on how to dress the pear-shaped body and what I realized is that a good majority of it assumes that we don’t want to be pear shaped and would rather hide our wide hips and apple bottoms. I’ve got nothing against skinnier women but who decided that I should want to be one?

Here are some excerpts from the B.S. that I had to sift through:

1).  If the eye is drawn to your cute top or the scarf around your neck, it takes the focus off your bottom half

2). Wear A-line skirts that gently skim your body to help de-emphasize your bottom

3). The main goal of dressing a pear figure is to draw attention to the torso and away from the hips and thighs

4). Select a load of shirts which have beading, bows, or collars near your neck. These can be large or small, as they both accomplish the same task of drawing the eye upwards and away from your bottom half. You can also choose to wear a scarf to the same effect.

5). Crop tops should be widely avoided for drawing attention to your midsection, which is too close to your hips to be flattering.

6). Although jeans with cute beaded and embroidered pockets may seem like a good idea, these can draw the eye to your least flattering location. Avoid glitzy pants and belts, and stay away from bottoms embellished with buttons, gemstones, sequins, or bold embroidery near your hips and rear.

Wow! Talk about body shaming. There is a lot of un-flattering propaganda out there about us Pears. I love my body shape. Love it, love it, love it. There are a few changes I would like to make but I will not de-emphasize my hips, I earned them. You can count on not seeing me in straight-front black pants to minimize my rear anytime soon. I disagree that my butt is my “least flattering location.” I’m still going to get the make-over, I just see it differently now. Thank you, evil internet, for helping me to love my body today.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Desmond says:

    Your butt was the most “flattering,” part of your body when I met you, no wait, your smile though. Your perfect for me.


  2. Brian says:

    To hell with those publications! You’re beautiful just the way you are!


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