April 8 An Entire Day With No Swearing

kids swearing

“I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.” Bill Cosby

I just couldn’t resist using that quote from Bill Cosby because you know, he’s such a clean-joke-telling, non-drugging-women-to-have-sex-with-them, upstanding, kind of guy. And swearing is not the worst thing that a person can do, Bill.

I curse like a sailor. Always have. Since the age of about two. My mom used to wash my mouth out with soap, and I would cry and blow bubbles at the same damn time. Seriously, folks. My heart is in the right place. I learned how to curse in pre-school. My BFF had an alcoholic mom who would pick her up from school screaming bloody effin murder at least once or twice a month because she was insanely drunk. Even though I was a kid, I don’t recall anyone ever refusing to give her child to her. Nowadays no one would even consider allowing a drunk parent to DRIVE their child home. Ahh, the 70’s …when beautiful women could get away with public drunkenness and cars were made of steel.

Today for my First I tried to go swear-free. I really did. I failed, but I honestly thought I had this in the bag. I was so careful. There were plenty of times that I thought of an expletive but instead chose a $5 word to convey my message. The day was enchanting. I slept late, went for a pedicure and then a wonderfully, delicious lunch at Los Cuates.

Then I got the phone call. I don’t think there was any cursing during the phone call but afterward when describing the phone call, I let it fly! Self control, Grasshopper, self control. Here is the thing about cursing and why I do it: it’s so effective. The intent of my message is very clear with curse words. You will understand: Did I like it? Am I happy? Angry? Excited? Afraid? About to hit you with my car? Going to give you a big hug? Are we friends? Did you touch the wrong part of my body? Where is my money? What did you call me? etc. When done right, there really is no substitute for the perfectly chosen curse word in the right situation. I just happen to find the perfect word for the perfect situation…all the time, dammit!


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