May 21 Preakness

Preakness Stakes

“A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character.” Frederico Tesio

Preakness Stakes is a horse race that takes place at Pimlico Race Track in Maryland every year. It is the second oldest race track in the nation (second only to Saratoga in New York). Seabiscuit raced there in 1938. I am not a horce race enthusiast. I have never watched a horse race until today. Hanging out at a Sports Bar, eating tacos and hot wings with my boy, we decided to take in the festivities. We watched the horse races with all of the enthusiasm of a “bookie” waiting on the “the vig.” We also took the time to learn a few betting slang words, because you know…passion for life and all that.

Two horses died today before the big race, their names were: Homeboykris and Pramedya. Sad. This got us thinking about what we would name our race horses, had we any. Thus prompting the list of awesome race horse names that we compiled while stacking up chicken wing bones.

List of Awesome Race Horse Names:

  1. Tiny Dancer
  2. Dandelion Wine
  3. Vengeance
  4. Rembrandt
  5. Yo Momma
  6. Spiteful Sprite
  7. Wayfarer
  8. Cupid’s Arrow
  9. Chevrolet
  10. Bad Luck Brian
  11. Schmoney
  12. Manifesto
  13. Scram
  14. Big Booty Judy
  15. Bloody Mary
  16. Hairy Navel
  17. Bourbon Street
  18. Horsey McHorseface
  19. Mudfoot
  20. Banana Cream Pie
  21. Horsepower
  22. Medusa
  23. Three Wheels
  24. The One Percent
  25. Not A Raven
  26. Paradox
  27. Leonitus
  28. Liar Liar
  29. Delta V
  30. Peacock Feather
  31. Sterling
  32. Archer
  33. Man O’ War
  34. The Neighborhood
  35. Double Entendre
  36. Guaranteed
  37. Empty Six Pack
  38. Only on the Weekend

I’m putting my money on The Neighborhood just to hear the announcer say, as my horse rounds the track, “There goes the Neighborhood.” Totally worth it.


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