July 29 #SorryNotSorry

” I don’t sugar coat shit. I’m not Willy Wonka.”

I didn’t want this to be my post today, but it looks like what will be, will be. Writing is therapeutic, it’s a place to work stuff out, to dig deep, be honest, craft your message and make sure that your voice is heard. I think that is what I need right now, so I am going to work myself through this.

This is the thing: I am opposed to compulsory apologizing. It is not sincere and is usually only given under duress. For example, Famous Person goes on a Talk Show and says she does not like Red Shoes. The Red Shoes People get pushed out of shape and publicly pressure Famous Person to apologize, which she does. Famous Person still doesn’t like Red Shoes, she just caved under the pressure. The pressure to apologize to the Entire Red Shoe Community lacks any respect for her legitimate choice to not like Red Shoes. Famous Person doesn’t have to like Red Shoes and doesn’t have to apologize for not liking them. This is a silly, made-up example, but I trust you get my point: all of this collective apologizing for speaking our collective minds has got to collectively stop.

What is happening to the world when we aren’t allowed to be respectfully opinionated and real anymore? Opinions start discussions and discussions can grow into new solutions. I had an observation today. I verbally expressed that observation. I asked that my observation be taken into consideration as a future solution. The Recipient did not understand my desire to create a solution. The Recipient took my observation as a personal attack. Someone Else spoke to me about my observation, and in my opinion, tried to convince me to apologize to the Recipient. Well, we know that’s not going to happen because I do not apologize for things unless I am truly sorry. And I was not truly sorry. At all. And not even a little bit.

What does one do in a situation like this? Stay on topic, don’t go down the Personal Attack Road. This is not personal. I observed something. I offered a solution. I also offered to work together to find another solution. There is no wrong-doing in there, therefore there will be no apology. Sorry, not sorry. Deal with it. We are grown-ups.



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